Marriage doesn’t have to be perfect to be great. It just needs two people willing to keep showing up, learning, and choosing each other every day.

Intimacy means closeness on the inside, not just on the outside. If you’re going to have true closeness in your marriage, you must be able to know each other and have unhindered access without fear. Think of intimacy in terms of the acronym INVEST.

If you’ve ever looked around your house—kids everywhere, someone always needing something, and a Velcro dog that follows you into the bathroom—and thought, “How are we supposed to have sex in this chaos?” you’re not alone.

Saying “I do” doesn’t automatically fix hurting people. The secret to success is whether you deal with those issues like a gardener or a consumer.