Bring Back the Spark With These 3 Steps
The Law of Pursuit isn’t about grand gestures or overnight transformations. It’s about rediscovering what made the relationship work in the beginning and choosing to build from there.
Here are three essential steps:
Step 1: Remember What Worked
In the early stages of love, most people are naturally more thoughtful. They pay attention to each other. They go out of their way to be kind, thoughtful, and attentive. They plan date nights, send sweet messages, and genuinely enjoy spending time together.
As time passes, life often gets in the way. Careers, responsibilities, and daily stress slowly push those thoughtful habits aside. What once felt exciting and fulfilling can start to feel routine or even disconnected.
The first step toward restoring that connection is to remember.
What made the relationship feel good at the start?
How did you treat each other?
How did you speak to each other? What did you enjoy doing together?
This isn’t about longing for the past. It’s about identifying the specific, positive behaviors that helped build trust, intimacy, and joy, then bringing them back into the present.
Step 2: Rethink and Realign
Next, take an honest look at how things are now.
Have you stopped doing the little things?
Has kindness turned into criticism?
Has indifference replaced curiosity?
This step is about taking responsibility, not blaming. Real change happens when both people choose to show up and care again. Each person must recognize what they’ve stopped doing and commit to thinking and behaving differently.
When spouses stop waiting for the spark to magically return and start creating the sparks, things begin to shift.
Step 3: Recommit to the Right Actions
Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice.
In struggling relationships, it’s common to wait for warm feelings to return before putting in effort. But that rarely works. What often reignites connection is doing—not feeling—first. Consistent, caring actions create the environment where feelings can grow again.
Start small: say something kind, give a hug, spend time together, listen closely. These habits rebuild closeness.
The Ongoing Journey
Every relationship has ups and downs. But when two people choose to grow and care for each other, those challenges bring them closer.
Love doesn’t have to fade over time. With consistent effort, respect, and the decision to prioritize the relationship, couples can build a connection that’s not only lasting, but genuinely enjoyable.
The key is to stop waiting for change to happen, and start being the change. And it all begins with three simple steps: remember what worked, rethink what changed, and recommit to doing the right things, no matter how you feel at the start.
